It is with regret that I look back to this month and mark it as perhaps the gloomiest of my life as my health has turned for the worse despite my earnest efforts to somehow reverse my medical maladies. Now all I have to show for it is a nearly depleted bank account, a long list of prescription drugs to take all day and each day, and then some really excruciatingly painful palpitations that strike pain and fear into me without rhyme or reason. I swear that I can’t even relax or watch an anime series without being interrupted by a painful heartbeat or five. I was paralyzed by the pain and fear that I couldn’t go work, much less update my blog, cosplay, or simply upload pictures. There are times when I wished the gods would be merciful and just put me out of my misery by getting squashed by a falling piano from the heavens. It was that bad. And it is with that that I almost forgot all about my blog, which to me was my personal declaration of independence from the uneventful, stagnant life I once led.
It was only the start of this week that it came to me that I cannot rot away again. I’ve worked so hard to try to be healthy. Literally hundreds of miles needed to lose 20 pounds and the astronomical willpower necessary for a once extremely overweight man to even just imagine doing that. I cannot put that to waste because even I deserve to be healthy, even if I can just imagine it. For the record, I lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks just by walking whenever I had the time.
Also, for the longest time I have regretted stopping writing. After almost twenty years of not being able to write anything remotely creative, I’ve started writing again two months ago through this blog, and for me that was a part of the big change I wanted to do with this life. So I cannot stop again. That would just mean my defeat.
So it is with this post that I tell the world, my friends, and probably most importantly myself, that despite my pain and anxiety I shall continue to change myself and continue to write to make this world a better place one post at a time. Thank you to those who have stuck with me this far. Please continue to visit this site from time to time as I strive to change the world, or at the very least, mine.
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